Patagonia Pictures 3

Patagonia Pictures 2

Patagonia Pictures 1

creating opportunities

Well I've applied to three companies for summer so far. NOLS Pacific Northwest as a Issue Room girl--they've written back and said they would consider me, but that they wouldn't know until March. Which is a long time to be left hanging. If they say no in March, I would have to scramble for any other sort of job. Passages Northwest--was supposed to interview me on Monday, but that's been bumped to Friday. I'm not sure how many days I would be working with them, they say 30-40, which leaves a lot of summer to fill and doesn't give me a place to live. Anacortes Kayak Tours--I'm not even sure they are hiring for this summer, the website is behind, but they offer good training to their guides and maybe I could work in logistics and also lead a few trips? That would be very nice.

Considering a couple more companies, adventure expeditions for teens that run some trips in Washington, amoung more exotic locales. But maybe I will wait a bit to see what comes of my interview.

Life in Patagonia is going along. I'm feeling underutilized as an Intern, and it is not always the easiest thing in the world to assign myself work. But I do work hard, and people are nice, and I made some kick-butt bread pudding yesterday at lunch with a lemon glaze. That's my life.

Ciao.

Coyhaique, Chile

Work day is done. It is 6:00, though I officially clocked out at 5:00 today, I am sticking around the office, helping a bit with Epi Kits (no EpiPens here, just syringes and vials of adreniline), trying to set up a schedule with my supervisor, and waiting to go into town.

So, I'm here. In Patagonia. I've been on vacation for the past few weeks, and it's been extreme nice, very low key, with lots of reading and cooking and staring out the window at the storms moving in across the mountains, the occasional trip to town (11 km away) for chocolate and mate and cheese, and a short kayak trip (with a very long bumpy drive attached).

It is a little like Ireland, if Ireland had huge mountains lurking everywhere. Very green, lots of sheep. Lots of hot drinks: mate, tea, Milo, coffee. Lots of meat eating. Lots of sweet things: manjar, chantilly creme, membrillo, guava paste, chocolate with almonds.

I'm the official Rations/Kitchen Intern. I work for the senoras in the kitchen, who don't speak English, chopping onions and peeling potatoes, smiling and nodding and hoping I am doing things right. I also work in the rations room, putting spices into tiny little bottles, and having big bottles of Thai Extra Picante explode all over me.

It's been quiet here at the campo up until recently, but now the instructors are starting to arrive, and there is a flurry of activity, planning and plotting and lots of little groups of friendly people. The students are coming soon and things will be even busier then.

My visa is good for 90 days, and since I am a "volunteer" (who gets enough money to buy a few limes and some cornflakes every week) I don't have to worry about worker's visas, thank goodness. I will have to take a trip into Argentina at some point to get a new visa, but I think that will be more a fun side trip than anything.

People are friendly, social, with lots of breaks to say hello, lots of people dropping by the quincho (kitchen) to chat and help peel potatoes, drink something hot. I haven't been very good about taking pictures, so I will try to do that. It hasn't been great weather, and everyone is wondering when summer will finally arrive. But when I do get around to it you may see: cats, dogs, horses, sheep, turkeys and turkey babies, chickens, ducks, kayaks, empanadas, my new mate gourd and bombilla, and the view.

I live in the Vista, I've begun painting my ceiling blue, I wish I'd brough a few more clothes, but I don't know what I would have left out of the packing. Going to go to dinner now.

Short List

Listening to: The Splendid Table.
Ready: to go.
Craving: Chocolate Mousse.
Making: Caramel Apple Pie.
Crazy Family Project: Giant Rose done in Christmas Lights.
Feeling: Slightly Unstable.
Have too much: Hair.
Learning about: Varnish, Sailboat Kitchens, Eskimo Rolls.

two excerpts from LDP journal

We are standing in front of the rig. The sun has just risen, and the day is not yet warm. One by one, we struggle into our packs, bending and lifting and twist our way into the piles of stuff, asking each other, “Can you make sure those baguettes are underneath the bungees?” and, “I can take those hazel hoes, but I can’t bend down to get them. Help me?” Walking carefully so as not to overbalance, we maneuver ourselves into some semblance of a group. We hand cameras to Greg, our Forest Service contact, and smile (or at least grimace) as he documents our first moments on the job. Leadership Development Program is hiking in. We know that the trail is only two miles long, and that it is unmaintained, and that we’re to go to “the bottom of the draw—there’s plenty of flagging.” A person can carry anything for two miles, especially when it is all down hill. This is what we think, and according to our information, the group sets off singing. We are the workers from Northwest Youth Corps/ We have to go on hiking although we’re really sore/ We’ve got to hold up the bloodstained Pulaski/ Got to hold it up until we die…This cheerful and uplifting song is our anthem, to be sung for us many times, on many long hikes. But this is the first of them, and the worst. Five hours later, we stumble into camp. We will be pulling inch long thorns from our scalps and thighs for days afterward. It was a rough introduction to the joys of life on the mountain. Heat, logs blocking the trail, disappearing trail, endless amounts of trail, switching back and forth down the mountain, bushes with thorns, shrubs with thorns, and dead black, charred and twisted trees towering over us. We made it. It did not fully crush our spirits, as our Forest Service contact gleefully predicted it would do. In an altered state of numbness, we rounded the last bend, shed our packs, stood trembling for a moment, and then folded up silently on a downed log. Sitting there together, the crew looked off into the distance, then down into the gray dirt, then at each other. “We’ve got to hike back to the last stream and get water. Who wants to go?”

Tense your muscles. Twist your body. Feel the edge of the grubber bite into the dirt. It’s a good feeling, because this is good dirt. Not too many rocks. Rip back the grass, exposing a wide strip of dark brown earth. Reset. Stop when you reach the other edge of the trail. Kick the dirt and the grass and the small rocks off the trail, away from the edge. Examine your work. Kick at any stubborn piece of greenery marring the dark expanse. Take one step to the right. Repeat. Ask your crew members around your for stories, for recipes, for advice on love, for future plans, for favorite baby names. Their voices keep you going. There are times when it is pleasant to be working alone with your thoughts, silent and mechanical, so absorbed in your work and private meditations that time does not pass, or passes quickly. You’re not sure which, but it doesn’t matter either way. Right now is not one of those times. Right now is early afternoon, nearing the break that your crew will not take because they would rather end fifteen minutes early. Right now, you need to talk, to joke and laugh, and take long pauses to chug water, and in a few minutes, take long pauses to hike down the trail to pee. Pry at a big rock in the trail with your grubber. Kick at the big rock until it loosens. Pry at it some more. Sigh and carefully set your grubber aside. Bend down, feel your muscles complain about this new movement. Dig out the rock, trying not to put any new holes in your gloves. Throw the rock down the hill and listen to the satisfying crash, crunch, crash, as it rolls down to the streambed far below. Only two more hours.

striped shoes and children's classics

I am going back and forth between two modes of being. One, I am impatient and restless, feeling slightly trapped and wanting to go, go, go. I am packed, prepared, and wondering how to leave sooner. Two, I am happy and content, waiting and enjoying the Seattle rain and mindless tv, not wanting to rush into serious things, knowing that they are coming soon enough. At times I am very young and stupid and superficial, focused too much on material items, lacking depth or interest or allure. Other times I am mature and want only to make others happy, spoiled, to understand how they think and ask questions that reveal more about what makes them work. I've been switching between these modes hourly in the past few days. It's a bit dizzy-making.

Dodging Winter

It's been a long time, hasn't it? But I am back, taking things slow and moving into another transition period. Right now I am in Oakland, California, at Mills College. Sitting in a dorm room right now and trying to think of a to-do list. Well, I should write a new resume, a thank you note, and...it's an odd feeling to not have an extremely long to-do list and not to be overwhelmingly busy. I've gotten to sit in on some classes and lectures, eat at the dining hall, read in the library. It really does confirm that I want to go back to school before long. It also makes me miss Missoula, especially Missoula in the fall before the cold weather starts.

I'm just getting back from my adventure in Arizona, where I sweated and hiked and ate a lot of dirt. We had a great crew of people, five girls and three boys, all hard workers with a sense of humor and enough creativity to make even the most tedious tasks worth while. Trailcrew...I would do it again, but maybe not under the same circumstances. It felt really great the last two weeks when I realized that I could work nine hours, physically moving and lifting and lopping and boot-o-matic-ing, and have at least a little bit of energy left. I still went to bed at seven when I could, though.

Next adventure is starting to draw close, and I am impatient for it to happen. I'm ready to go now. Well, maybe I need a few more days in Seattle to purchase some schriacha sauce...

8/31

Today was difficult. We set off with favorable conditions, and for the first time I was in one of the singles, Tropic Thunder. Learning to be lead boat, staying stable, steering without a rudder were all part of the challenge of today, which was then compounded by adding in the wild open ocean. Walls of water and a big chop, the wind against me all the way--it made for a wild ride. I still have not reached my optimum kayaking endurance level and pushed past my limits and into the land of dogged misery. Ken and Gene traded off babysitting and body guarding duties, which meant I was never unsafe, but not being able to switch out or take a decent break with food, water, sunscreen or stretching equalled one furiously tired and grumpy girl. At the end I ever started to get seasick, which never happens, and hopefully will never happen again. I was so slow paddling but it meant that at the very end, when Ken asked for a go, I could paddle like crazy and ride the breakers in to a perfect first controlled landing. I am glad today is nearly over but I also think it was an important day for me and for the group. Now we are here at 3rd beach, the rollers crash into a curving sand beach, dry skies, a beautiful stream of fresh water, grassy field for tents, rocks rising up out of the sand in shattered formations, and the charry smell of a driftwood fire. Ever cooking tonight was calming and low stress. The boats are safely moored, the tent is up, and I am in good spirits after a calming cup of tea and a chat with the fearless leaders. I tried to bathe in the creek earlier, but Dr. Bronners is as poor at hair cleaning as I remember. There have been some unusual prints in the sand, some sort of large canid? and I wish I could ID it for a bear or wolf or dog. Tomorrow we will move on along this rugged coast. Never did I think that I would ever see the wild shore of the Northwest Coast from both the land and the sea. Life moves in interesting patterns.

7/31

I am hiding in the woods in order to concentrate and also to hide from the sand and gnats and various other distractions. I can hear the crash of the waves at high tide and see the cheerful colors of our circus tarp peaking through the leaves. Gale force winds were predicted for today and and instead we were given calm water, gentle rain, and a favorable current. While I do not mind rain while paddling, it has made for a cold and messy beach camp, with sand everywhere and everyone slightly out of sorts. We switched cook and tent groups today, dispersing us girls into the wider group. I am not perfectly happy but it could be worse. Last night was some stereotypical girl bonding night talk. in honor of the last time we will truly be together. Today, paddling in the rain and mist and fog shrouded peaks just showing and deep cut valleys hidden from us, we paddled swiftly in a pod, followed by harbor seals, watched by lofty eagles, and examined by families of sea otters. We are now on the outer shore, and the ocean swells begin to lift our boats up and set them down gently in the next trough. This is Neptune at his most benign and I relished the travel today. The swells turned to white sprays of plume on the outlying rocks and small islands scattered around us like a child's imaginary world, untouched and sized so to offer endless exploration and still be home to the castle by supper time. Through the rock gardens we picked our way, at times poling through the matted seaweed like a pirouge down the bayou. Tomorrow is even longer than today, and many things are dependant on forces beyond us. The only thing we can do is live in the moment, plan for tomorrow, and accept the obstacles that are thrown in our way as learning exercises.

planning for the future

Seattle Children's Theater
ACT Theater
Alaska Sea Kayaking Rangers
Amazing Grace Tall Ship
America's Test Kitchen
Backroads Trip Leaders
Sierra Club
Nature Conservancy
Girl Scouts
Organic Farms
High Mountain Institute
Cascade Land Conservancy
Naturalists at Large
NOLS
North Cascades Wilderness School
North Cascades Institute
Northwest Service Academy
Alpengirl
Parks and Recreation
Port of Seattle
Schooner Zodiac
Sierra Club
Camp Seymour

Some of the jobs and internships and companies I've been looking at. The one that I feel most suited for, and most excited for, is Logistics Coordinator with Salish Seas, working with sail boats and kids and getting things ready behind the scenes. I'm trying to rewrite my resume for something outside of the theater world, and it is slow going. It seems a daunting task, pointing out all my good points, asking someone to like me. Hope for the best.

6 sticks of butter

1. Lemon Tart with pretty cut out hearts and candied lemon peel
1. Upside-down wine-plum cake (cross your fingers that it works out, still in the process)
4. Peach baby Dutch Babies, not so pretty, so I ate them
2. Couches that I have to carry up and down stairs
Lots. Of things to mail to lots of people

Also, dinner invites to arrange. Packing to finish for St. Louis. Exciting phone calls to wait for. Despite there being lemon juice and a fruit sticker in my hair, for once it is curling under on both sides instead of flipping out like a crazy-person's hair. So that is good too. There is a good breeze for sailing out on the sound today.

away

Listening to world music, lounging in bed, reading the Sunday funnies, getting ready to say my goodbyes. It is the end of the summer, it is the end of the summertime adventures, time to return to real life, check in with friends and family, plan for the southern hemisphere summer, start projects and forward-looking future things, and try to stay busy and happy and full of emails and the occasional phone call.

6/31

I am hungry and waiting for dinner, self-banished from the kitchen for three meals so that my cook group can become more self sufficient in the kitchen. At the moment they are figuring out white rice. Not very successfully from what I hear. Today we stayed at Garden Point in order to improve our stroke skill sets, learn about weather, have environmental show and tell. When I look above me there is a grillwork of branches, lacy cedar leaves, drying paddle jackets, and a corner of the tarp of higher learning. Close by are the calm voices of the instructors and the campfire glows and crackles beyond. Sitting in a single kayak for the first time today emphasized the need to really sit up straight. The girls are keeping up a running commentary that is distracting and would be hilarious if I wasn't A.) Hungry and B.)tired and out-of-sorts. I was so looking forward to rice and soy sauce and changing plans at the last moment
is not something I am graceful at. I should make water for tomorrow and prep my gear for easy packing early in the morning. I am not sure why such a sense of despondency is hovering about me, but a good sleep will hopefully send it flying. I IDed a lodgepole pine today
from remembering. Burke would be proud. Out here on the coast Pinus contorta is called shore pine, but whether Montana or Canada, a tree is a tree is a tree. Sometimes things seem to hover at the brink of disaster and Gene just sits there calmly, observing from his corner. He thinks I am hard to read and I often feel the same about him. Ah cabbage, the friendly plant. On our first day, there were some sort of biting gnats and as the days go on I seem to discover more and more damage those little creatures did to my feet and hands. I definitely have not eaten very well today, what should have been a day of feasting. Half a bagel with butter, three gingerbread pancakes, and a peanut butter Cliff bar. Possibly caramels later. Cross your fingers. I asked for criticism today and I got it and it was very fair but also very hard to totally monitor. My shut up reminder has returned to my hand, and I only hope that my role in the group is
not too set in any way.

5/31

A quiet journal writer under a sheltering cedar, a sleeping instructor, boat boat for a pillow, two giggling girls lounging in the sand talking about nothing important. A wide sand and cobble beach, and island that offers exploring at low tide, the high chirrups of a bald eagle perched in a snag above me. Wild roses grow and bloom here and the sand is studded with shells of all sorts, some familiar, some exotic. We have an hour more of this quiet time before our evening lesson. The girls say fries and quesidillas for dinner. Okay quick impressions, not nesscarily accurate--Berek, the southern "gentleman"--Alex, the captain of the crew team--Wendall, the odd one--Camille, a little spoiled--Bethany, the princess--Sam, Thoreau--Jon, the child--Ryan, slightly clueless, utterly normal--Me, wilderness girl--Parks, who is fab-u-lous. Today we paddled to Garden Point and Sam behind me we made it a goal not to run into any other boat. When I started to distract myself with songs and games the paddling pain was easy to put aside, but I am afraid my stroke still needs adjusting, for everyone else seems to be complaining of sore abs, and I haven't felt the muscles working there. Perhaps it is because I have no muscles there to speak of. We are staying here tomorrow, with skill building and lessons to fill the day. I feel as though the other girls are beginning to leave me behind. I suppose I am letting them do it and the future is in my hands with this situation, but I was a little annoyed this evening for I feel as though they are slow to do so many group things for they know I will get impatient and do it for them. Still it is a minor situation.

4/31

Unexpected delays, an imperfect campsite, a quiet group of travelers make up the sum of today, due to an upside down single and the somewhat tense rescue. The fact that she did not shrug it off as no big deal reminded us of how fragile our shell of protection is against the wiles of wild Canadia. With a fierce wind picking up against us, we stopped two miles short of our goal today and made camp at a place that is at once wild and holds the firm print of human habitation. Where our camp last night was like a homey site set aside for us, today's camp is something from the end-of-days, post-apocalyptic in scope, with huge concrete supports rising from the water, twisted rusted iron all that is left of the thing it once supposed. Behind me a strange bird crys, "Hoohwah-Hoohwah-Hoo," a new sound, as so many things are new to me on this trip. And yet I know I will learn and adapt to this enviroment, for it is in my nature to be fluid and melleable to the situation at hand. My hands are swollen and sunburnt, we are making pizza tonight, we were given the how to poop in the woods talk, which is amusing no matter how many times you have heard it. Gene said today that I was hard to read, he couldn't tell if I was having a good time. I am, but the switch hasn't come as it did on my WFR class where I learnt how to show it properly without any know it all quality or other negativity creeping in where I don't mean it to be. More after dinner. In the even ing the clouds have started moving in, forcing me to throw up a rainfly, not stormproofed, but at least it will save me a trip outside at 2am. We were thinking of going without tonight, but those clouds make me nervous and I can hear Gene listening to the weather on the VHF radio which makes me think he is nervous too. I learned about black twinberry today and drank camomile tea, and now I am ready for bed. The ground is unusually lumpy tonight. My tentmates are still out and about, full of energy and unnaturally chipper.

Four Winds

At camp, soon to be heading down to dinner. Life at camp in a nutshell: busy, frustrating, magical, beautiful, exciting, rewarding, and topsy-turvy. Life outside of camp is partially scary and partially going so well that it is almost scary in its own way. There is much of the wondering of futures, and much of the planning of adventures, and much of the wishing that things were clearer and simpler, though I don't think I would have as many moments of complete contenment and joy in that version of my life. Lifeguarding and sunshine today. Tomorrow is packing and preparing.

3/31

I am sitting on a huge worn log, what remains of a retaining wall here at an old logging camp, looking out at a near relation of Hood Canal, a northwest fjord of depth and beauty. I think that my lips are sunburned for the weather is continuing to follow a fair and sunny pattern, though the wind against us today brought up old bad memories of why I dislike kayaking. However, we soldiered through it and traveled eight miles south to a camp where we could practice wet exits in a calm and protected environment. The wind is dying now as the land begins to cool for the evening and the calm seems to have fallen over land and sea kayakers alike. A fire has been lit behind me and birds call to each other across the still air, the sunlight sending last rays of hazy sweetness streaming through the marches of steep hills across from me. Ghee rice and lentils tonight. I have promised to try to teach my cook group more and to do less for them, a legit complaint. Wildlife today: an otter who found us as curious as we found it, and a doe and fawn on the water's edge attending to some secert task that only they know. To see the sea-edge grass set against these rotting pilings, softly nodding tufted heads is a type of music made solid. Salal grows here, and blackberry and salmonberry, but it is the wrong season for them all. I try not to share too much and to relax into being a member of the group and in most times, I succeed. I do not know how sore I will be tomorrow, yet. I had forgotten that exquisite moment of panic that arrives when yu realize that you are stuck upside down in the water and the agonizing second before remembering the way out of this mess. I hope for a solid night's sleep tonight and a french braid in the morning.

2/31

I don't feel as though I have been inspired to any great poetical heights of journal writing yet, but I will defend myself by saying the physical exertion and true wilderness section of this trip will not start until tomorrow, when you will see a boost in journal entry interest. However, today was out at 7am and in at 6pm by car and ferry, highway and logging road to a truly remote and beautiful town with snow capped peaks abounding and salt water at our feet. Originally a mill town, but now they just truck the logs out while. There is a campfire going and two social girls keeping the conversation flowing. I feel as though a more through packing list should be written for this course, for there are a number of things that I had to rent. Also silly things like mint extract and shower stuff, most unnecessary but happiness-promoting. Our two instructors, Ken and Gene are excellent and inoffensive, but I wish there was a female leader for me to study and question and bond with, also to help bond the group more. It will happen informally with time, but I know there are other soft-skill strategies. Dinner did not turn out as well as hoped, for too many cooks made me doubt my methods and I added milk which made the cheese stringy and the noodles soupy. Thank goodness I am not yet banned from the kitchen. I am tired though it is early yet and the alpenglow still bounces a warm pink glow into this tent and the evening birds still sing. I am worried that all my things will get wet. I am worried that I will be too weak to keep up. I talk too much and say stupid things. Let it go. Live in the moment.

1/31

Day One at NOLS Sea Kayaking and Sailing. At the HQ in Conway, WA for all of today, talking and prepping, meeting and getting a group feel, waiting through review and picking up a few ideas and tidbits of new information. Like to blow out the last flame of a whisperlite. And other things that seem to be blurring together for me at the moment. I am sitting in the library where I will not be distracted or cold and drooling at the collection of books and videos and papers behind me, wishing I had such easy access all the time so I could absorb some of the knowledge contained here. I suppose that I will have to learn by doing instead. Today started at4:45am and tomorrow will be a ten hour travel day--north and north and north and then finally west across Vancouver island. It's a more exotic location than I expected and I hope it is worth the effort to get there. So far the staff are enthusiastic, the food is good, the gear is quality, and the trip more cushy than I expected. The paddling will still be difficult, surely, but it is a thing I will face when it arrives. Hope for fair weather! Pleasant seas and skies and wind that blows in two weeks. There are several rooms here that are alluring. The library, of course, and the rations room with clean counters, an abundance of small plastic bags, and big bins of food. Also the gear room, which I tried not to spend much time in because I was afraid I would want it all. There is a group of backpackers prepping to go out too, and getting to overhear their process and travel plans has been interesting as well.

First Pictures from Sailing

First Pictures from Sea Kayaking

SKS

5:15 pm, Friday July 10th. I am sitting in the computer room, surrounded by mail, wearing new shoes, contemplating a new fancywork project for later this evening. Computer is loading pictures, Mariner's game is on in the background, and I am actually, despite all common sense, supremely happy right now. Twelve hours ago I woke up in Conway, WA, wet with dew and knowing it was useless trying to go back to sleep. Tea in the library, walking and talking, wrapping up and bidding farewell to my coursemates. Finally getting my Hug of War hug, with minimal awkwardness, driving home with my parents and Sam. Gifts and good food and a bath sometime soon. Most important of all, the possibility of adventures hovering in the near future keeps me looking forward. Pictures to come soon.

and on the wide sea rode a full-blowing sail

I promised myself that I would update this before I leave. Tomorrow. At an ungodly hour. And then it is off for packing and sorting and lectures and traveling, then paddling and soreness and hunger and not fitting in to the group, as per usual. Here's to hoping that all my fears are easily overcome, and that a whale does not decide to rise to the surface with my boat in the way.

"Sea-Fever"

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

By John Masefield (1878-1967).

Pictures from Seattle

WFR

Sorry so long. I've been in class from 8 till six, which results in running around from 7 till 8 and then collapsing in bed and falling asleep while the light is still shining outside. I'm a Wilderness First Responder now, and the happy owner of an Aerie Medical t-shirt, thanks to a strong score on the written examination. I'm hoping for some hot tubbing this evening to soak away the long day before I once again fall into a deep deep sleep.

testing

Ug. Not a good morning. I took the GRE, and did pretty well on the verbal, not so hot on the math, and I won't know about the writing for a while. I think I will have to take it again next year, though how I will improve my math score is debatable, as they aren't really testing math skills, just convoluted numbers skills. I'll know how to pace myself better anyhow. I'm glad it is done. That's all I have to say to that.

words of wisdom

I'm not going to the giant graduation ceremony in the Adams Center, so I will miss out on the inspirational speaker. But Timothy Egan more than makes up for it.

http://egan.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/05/06/dear-graduate/

pink and orange

I am very enamored of my resume at the moment. Cream linen press paper + tiny accent of spring color + excellent layout, content, yadda yadda. I don't want to give them away to my professors, who I am sure will immediately recycle them when my exit interview is over.

Yesterday was my last day of classes, but it was far too exhausting to enjoy or savor. However, I would like to say that I kicked butt on the second part of the Dendrology test, and I can't wait to go in next week to get my results. If my spelling is as good as I think it is, there was only one tree that I was not absolutely sure of. Stupid Juglandaceae and its bitter butter wal nuts.

I am currently wasting time before portfolio review, all dressed up with no where to go. I wanted to bring in my entire portfolio--all eight binders worth, but it weighs over thirty pounds and I'm in heels and a silk skirt. And rain threatens. I have thirty five cents with which to buy breakfast. I believe that is enough for a nutrigrain bar. Hmm.

dress

For you, pretty vintage graduation dress. I'm pretty sure it looks better in real life than in the pictures, which were taken in the bathroom, with horrible lighting. And I'm not wearing the right shoes. I'm not sure I have the right shoes, come to think of it. What goes well with a black grad gown and a light yellow cotton dress? I made the belt, as the dress had lost its own. It has a pretty floral pattern with is hard to see in photos. Also spent a great deal of time ironing it, with mostly good results, except that SOMEHOW the iron picked up some melty black goo halfway through and transferred it to the dress and I can't get it out. It isn't very noticeable, but I was very upset.

pictures of the day

enjoy.

advice

This is a very representative picture of me. Note the bemused expression.
From my perch in the chemistry building. It was snowing! Definitely not a lounge-on-the-oval day.
The room packing has begun. I need to buy some white thread, and borrow a iron and board. I've finished my little project for Teralyn. All Things Considered is giving me graduation advice. That is my status update.

finals

I am playing a game with the NPR archives where I type in a phrase that I am interested in, and then listen to the many stories it feeds back to me. I am designing a tshirt for a friend meantime. I have a test tomorrow. A test on tuesday. Three tests on next thursday. A final exit portfolio presentation on friday. Three tests during finals week. So if you were wondering what my life was like right now, I suggest you don't. It's too overwhelming. Perhaps I will clean some more this evening. Perhaps I will type up some more recipes for my summer tripper cook book. Or perhaps I will study for a test.

brandi carlile (correct spelling)

Walking from Higgins Alley to the Wilma. It was a longer walk than Morgan realized. I liked it though. 80 degrees yesterday! And my pretty red shoes (Three! compliments on the shoes, and all asked where they came from) aren't too bad for walking.
The Wilma is this beautiful old theater, falling apart, but still so interesting with big chandeliers and carvings and an organ and a decorative proscenium. Brandi liked it so much she decided to sing a song completely unplugged and walked out to the apron with the twins to do so. People stayed really quite and it was magical. In general there was great energy and people were there to listen to the music and the concert just clicked for the performers and the audience. At one point she broke us up into three parts and had us learn a three part harmony and I felt like it was summer camp on a Sunday in the lodge. Wonderful.
All set up and ready for the show. We chose to sit at the very front of the balcony, which we some mighty nice seats, and way more comfortable than standing in the crowd clustered at the stage.
A good night. I got to explain was bolognese sauce was, and gorgonzola, and gnocchi, and I had a glass of wine like a grown up with my chicken marsala, and my hair was wavy like it would be if I could tell my hair what I wanted it to do naturally. So despite too busy schedules and not enough time to relax, I would say that this was an excellent birthday present.

scenes from today

I'm going out tonight! Brandi Carlisle, and dinner. Pretty rockin'. The only catch is I wanted to go out to this nice restaurant that Morgan likes, but there isn't anything on the menu I eat.
Sunny day. Playing with color accent on the camera.
Being demo girl in Dendrology class. Here we are at Sitka mountain-ash.
Ready for tree class!
This is about half of the trees we are supposed to know by now!

first photos

ella and the duke

I'm waiting for my new camera battery to charge so that I can post pictures from my new camera. I have a play to read and two papers to write, and my roommate got all uppity about the dishes, and I want to go to Jazzoula tonight, but everything is busy, so I might go late, and leave early, which is not ideal. Tomorrow I want to go so well, be gussied up, eat dinner at a real place, drink delicious wine, listen to Brandi Carlisle (my birthday tickets!). Listening to NPR This American Life. I need to do laundry. No clean underwear is a sad situation.

laundry list

A week later, and I have finally gotten my ice cream delivery, and it was delicious. Warm weather has come to Missoula, my bike has been rescued from its exile at the library, I read an Alice Hoffman book that I did not enjoy, my room is clean and boxes are starting to pile up with notes that say summer or storage. I got my hands on the Tuscan Blood Orange smell that makes Morgan drool (what is it with guys and food based smells?), downloaded free songs from Amazon, researched digital cameras and made a decision (and now I am done, Mom, I am not reading any more reviews), talked to my brother about dorm rooms and majors and summer camp. And I was visited by one of the well known ladies of the blog world, who commented on this blog that no one reads!

This week: study for weekly tree test, theater history group meeting, theater history movie watching, final drafting project finishing up, making a hair appointment, and maybe a tooth appointment, and dredging up a GRE test prep book, oh and driving. I'm determined. This week.

theater history

I am making tea in the english style. Black with milk and sugar. In hopes that it will propel me through this next section of my paper. It is so hard to work on this take home test monster, and of course it is due tomorrow, and I didn't get as much done because just when break ends the weather gets nice. So I am trying to create motivators. I have three more sections. Eight more pages. Three more hours to work. I was trying to convince someone to bring me ice cream--that would have been an excellent reason to write a few pages, but he's too tired. Boo. I had my last advising meeting today. One more drafting assignment before I am done with that.

background music

Last night we were driving at night, heading east to this strange little resort, searching for a radio station to cover the gap between cities where not much can be found on the airwaves. So we left the search function on, until it magically found a station on Copper Radio, Dick Clark's Rock Roll and Remember. And so we were transported for a time to 1961, with every third song being a Buddy Holly and the Crickets hit. This was in stark contrast to the world outside the car, which was this amazing and scary parallel universe of sideways wind and swirling snow crystals and ice and distant, diffused headlights.

It is spring break, though spring has not reach Montana yet. I'm trying to remember how to relax and just let things happen, rather than always lookng forward to getting to the next activity. It is nice not to be wearing black. I made dinner last night. I am reading the Poisenwood Bible, which is the last Barbara Kingsolver book for me, until she writes another. Been putting this one off, just because I know there will be no more new ones for a while. There is a spa here, but I can't quite justify getting an expensive massage. Sigh. Gary Warchola, you better pay up when you get back from Utah. You still owe me for those textbooks.

back

Sorry about the long time no posting, but today is my DAY OFF. And I am day-offing it, listening to new music, checking my blogs, snuggling under covers, etc. If only I could have slept in a little longer, but instead went out to breakfast with my early bird parents, and sleepy grump Morgan. Got: books and new jeans (well, goodwill-new), and funny dollar store items for the run crew of Guys and Dolls, as I will not have any more free time before closing night. Btw, we did poke several holes in the black scrim, shattered a few glass lamps, we yelled at by the TD, and generally tech was kind of headachey. Things are a lot better now that we are not adding or changing things so much anymore. I might get to go on a mini trip for spring break. Not that staying here isn't nice, but I'd like to see more of Montana and soak in some hot springs, and ride on a motorcycle like an awesome girl. I wish May were further away.

immediate concerns

My birthday is this week. I would like to ask that we not tear big holes in the scrim or shatter glass all over the stage. This is my birthday wish. It is hard for me to think in complete sentances right now. It is hard for me to sit in a chair right now. I generally walk in small circles backstage, pacing, waiting for another scene change to arrive. I love french toast. Generally I look forward to tech week. But somehow, I have the feeling that all my brilliant problem solving abilities will not serve me during these techs. Headstands tomorrow in yoga. I have never successfully done such a thing, so we will see how that goes.

little post

Wait wait don't tell me! had a limerick about how blogging makes college students happy! I am enjoying a small unexpected break, and trying to decide if I should buy a cute date outfit on Forever 21. I did get more vitamins, Fish and Flax Oil, yum.

unavailble

It's like I know that this really great source of attention, and snuggles, and random lazy chatter is out there, just beyond my grasp, and if I only had the time I could enjoy those lovely experiences. But I don't have the time and so the ideal hovers and taunts me. Want. Want. Want.

herding cats

I'm in rehearsal. But I am also backstage and online and am taking a short break from shushing the actors to go type type type. The reason I am back here is that there needs to be a backstage mother who can figure out the hellacious scene changes. So I am madly plotting and have managed to get up through Act One with some tentative assignments. These actors aren't as good at remembering as my Merry Wives ones, so nothing is working like the paperwork says. But I am trying anyhow. Scene change coming up.

Back. After my props meeting today I spent a very pleasant three hours. So pleasant, in fact, that I forgot to eat dinner, and my substitute Mountain Dew is starting to wear thin. Ah well. The adventure was worth it. Occasional good distractions are so worth it.

silly gooseness cont.

There must be something in the water around this department, like an early spring fever. People are pairing off, or trying to, all over the place. Twitterpated, that's the word. I guess the weather has been kind of nice recently.

I feel like I am out of favor with my director, like everything is never any good, like all is chaos, like I am going to fail all my classes and especially this test tomorrow. I've got a props meeting tomorrow, and paper tech on thursday. And so much more. I just hate the feeling that there is nothing I can do to make at least one aspect of my life make sense. There's a dinner date that I can't even schedule, no two hour chunk of time to unwind and laugh and feel a pleasant fizz buzz of meeting someone new.

justified.

I am a silly goose, according to Morgan. And perhaps it is true. I just ordered food to be delivered to the drama department. Am tired and hungry and worn out and really don't want to eat another stale bagel from the UC for dinner. So am having chicken peanut curry instead. Purr.

seeking calm

I'm sitting in the quiet room in the UC, which generally feels too much like a tomb, but today I am hoping it will give me the piece of mind that I need to sit down and write this paper. I am not going to yoga today, because the instructor clearly asked people not to come when they are sick/ certain other Ashtanga-y reasons. So I am trying to use the time efficiently. I am having a jumpy, unattractive, unsettled day, which really wasn't helped by running into people who make me even more jumpy before I had had my breakfast cup of tea. I was all flustered and my hair was still wet and my ugly coat was on and I just wanted to hide. And as that was impossible, I was catty and awkward and tried to make it better by texting afterwards, which of course made it WORSE. I sent in some of my paperwork for NOLS and NYC, though each of them will require a second mailing. I am behind in my drafting catchup, behind in my drawing for sporky, amazingly behind in cleaning the kitchen, and I haven't heard from Laura in a week. I am nervous. And drawn out.

muzzy brain

I feel uckily sick and I've just run out of cold medicine. Oh no! There was a moment in the afternoon where I didn't feel so bad, and made three dishes: croutons, apple cherry cobbler, and mac and cheese, in a half hours time. I also ate dinner of bagel and cream cheese and strawberry yoghurt. I don't know what was going on there. It is too bad I felt so bad for my under studied tests today. It lowered my already slim chances. The busy is slightly less, but the dial is still in the red zone of TOO MUCH TO DO.

vitamins and three hours till rehearsal

I've been transfer down from an ugly jacket into plastic bags, and as a result I have a fine layer of feathers coating me and my room. But I managed to extract four gallon bags and a nalgene bottle worth out of the whole deal, and as a result, I am feeling pleased. I finished my bivy, and while it is not the prettiest thing in the world, I think it will work well, and pack up small. I think it weighs just under a pound, because I used heavy waterproof stuff for the bottom. But that means I won't need to carry a groundcloth with me, just an extra piece of foam for my head, and maybe a trash bag for my pack. I think it will be welcome for trail crew.

In case anyone is interested, I was looking in my medicine cabinet this morning and was rather impressed by the number of vitamin and supplements that I am taking at the moment. Witness:

Centrum Multivitamin: maybe 2x a week
Vitamin C: maybe 2x a week
Vitamin B Complex: everyday
Flax Seed Oil: everyday
St Johns Wort: everyday
Arnica and Advil: while my ankle is healing
Green Defense Droplets: whenever I need to swallow a pill, I squirt some into my water

My general goal is not to be sick as I was last semester, and to have energy. B12 is also supposed to help the skin some, which never hurts.
Now wasn't that exciting?

camp and curry

Summer Camp

I've been browsing NPR archives with the search term "summer camp" and have discovered a wealth of stories. I also found this lovely online magazine issue, which makes good reading.

I had delicious chicken peanut curry today, and got a package in the mail from seattle, with the usual chocolate and the distinctly odd fresh lemons.

Put up some new wall decorations. Planning on working on finishing my bivy when I can tear myself away from the radio. Slowly compiling a packet for the tripping program. I scored another $3 down jacket at Goodwill today, and a couple of new free books from the exchange. If only I could bear to part with more books I already own.

tackling the pile

I've been cleaning my room this morning, though I haven't gotten as far as the clothing pile, which is a really strange phenomenon that seems to occur in my room where the small number of discarded clothes breeds and multiplies in an unnoticed corner. It also seems to be magnetized, as even seemingly untouched, unworn clothing is drawn to add to the heap. I pretty sure there's a good horror movie plot in there somewhere. I swear I don't have that many clothes, especially as a good chuck are in storage, and I've thrown away or goodwilled a number of trash bags recently. And it still always seems like I have nothing flattering to wear.

Hurt

Last night I fell off the loading dock and hurt my ankle. I took care of it immediately, and today I went to Curry, where they took X-rays, and were very unhelpful. I'm pretty bummed about all of it--the pain, the limping, the slowness, the impossibility of working out, getting in late to class. Walking is what I do, and it's a big part of how I define myself. And I have to go back to Curry later this week for a tetanus shot and for them to sign my NOLS paperwork. All of which they will charge me for. The only thing they told me today was that it "probably wasn't broken" which I was well aware of.

sexy summer schedule

Graduation: May 16th
WFR: May 18-27
NOLS Sail and Sea Kayak: June 10-July 10
Four Winds Camp: July 18-August 29
NYC LDP: September 24-November 5

Do you notice that I have a nice big break in September? That is prime time for going on a hike in Mt. Rainier National park. Some nice alone time, which I won't have much of otherwise. And good weather time. No bugs, no snow. Nods. Exciting adventure time. There's not enough time to do the whole Wonderland Trail, but I could do Sunrise to Paradise, and go through Mowich again. I would get to use my poncho tarp and my bivy. I'm thinking just over a week, with a rest day in the middle. It wouldn't cost too much, just food (which I have some of, can take some from parent's house, and buy the rest) and the $20 wilderness permit. I'll have to decide soon, cause the campsites go by lottery.

I am done with the writing proficiency assesment! I have no food except for oatmeal, and one bag of noodles. I have to reteach myself how to draft today. Blech. I love AutoCAD so much more than hand drafting.

toodles

Ten minutes before I go off to yoga, so I thought I would try to write something quick quick. I can't actually write very quickly anymore, because my "s" key has stopped working correctly, so whenever I want to type that letter I have to stop and hold down and make sure that it has shown up on the screen. It definitely interrupts the flow.

Rehearsal, a play to read, a paper to write, a test to study for, and much prep for exam to do. So, a busy day, especially as I leave in five minutes and don't return until 10:30ish. At some point this semester I am going to take the GRE (not the GED as I accidentally wrote on my to-do list) and when you take it, you get four schools to send it to for free. And all others require a fee to be paid. Which means that I have to go research schools, even though I'm not quite sure what I want to study or where to go or what to look for. Or when I will go, for that matter. The GRE score are good for five years.

Okay, I"m off.