21 November 2009

striped shoes and children's classics

I am going back and forth between two modes of being. One, I am impatient and restless, feeling slightly trapped and wanting to go, go, go. I am packed, prepared, and wondering how to leave sooner. Two, I am happy and content, waiting and enjoying the Seattle rain and mindless tv, not wanting to rush into serious things, knowing that they are coming soon enough. At times I am very young and stupid and superficial, focused too much on material items, lacking depth or interest or allure. Other times I am mature and want only to make others happy, spoiled, to understand how they think and ask questions that reveal more about what makes them work. I've been switching between these modes hourly in the past few days. It's a bit dizzy-making.

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